Dear all,

In my last note, one more epistolary summary addressed to you the club from me, the humble secretary

Today is (was) election day*

*this became somewhat complicated several days later (see past emails, specifically election results and Bush v. gore)

Several were observed crying in the back benches, mourning our rectangle skulled leader’s last meeting. Others, particularly the sweatshirt-clad mass of hair and depthless ambition colloquially referred to as Allie Balter and the courageously mustached politico, emanating a musk two parts ski wax and one part fermented New Vale, known as John Turbobarbadup, rubbed their hands together in anticipation. A tension built up in the airspace between the pairs’ dissimilar foreheads and slowly filled the room—appearing first as the slight quiver of J. Sturv’s soul patch as he held up a trumpet device fashioned from the horn of an unknown steppe dwelling grazing animal and proceeded to bring it to his lips. As a conical smattering of old man sturtevant’s saliva followed the bellowing noise which emanated from the end of the crude wind instrument, your silent observer, just waking from a short nap, was struck by the weight of the situation. I realized the undeniable fact, that tonight, this unremarkable Wednesday in early December, was a night like no other, it was—my eyes now fixed on the ceiling in rapture as the epiphany concluded—ELECTION NIGHT.

ANNOUCEMENTS

Kristen asks on behalf of kind guiding light Dean Gurney: “will the boc give up the yurt?”

The club answers: passed

Bryan lehyr: social media–> #batesfinals is trending: there is also another #honolding after alex honold–> replicate the rock scrambler’s famous pose b/c gold zero will give us solar panel. I  don’t think this happened. Typical for the unmentionable one.

NOVA SCOTIA WAS AWESOME: a thanks to allie and anne for leading the trip to the far north was voiced by a brainwashed trip survivor

GEAR:

John B-dup: wants to pay someone to mount some at bindings on a pair of at skis ($65)

Vote: yes

SAM: sells matuse wetsuit to BOC for $100

Vote: Yes

JULIA:: will buy an alps brand 4 season tent, to be voted on after break?

Bryan:L(ose)hyr admits that the bonsai tree is an utter failure and his campaign a farce

STORY:

TOBY: MORALE= “not wearing pants can save lives”: last year climbing trip in NC. climbed for days, found map from a climbing pioneer, hiked down to a river gorge described on map. water was high boulders inaccessible, toby and co walk up river, walk along ledges and vines, then turn around and face a challenging down climb! make it back down can’t find a place to cross the river, find a placid pool. with a small dam. bad decisions started there, rock hop begins, make it the middle, large ROCK HOP, pants come off and our hero scoots off and dives and makes it across the rock hop, dan (Toby’s adventuring partner) slips on his scoot scrabbling and terrified, toby throws his pants and saves dan. Long winded excuse if you ask me.

ADDIE: story has been told before- addie with two of her home dogs, mack danger and l-farn, (aka fem-wes) go up to sunday river freshman year for the first time. L-farn has got a passion for fear, and spies a hot tub in a hotel on west side of the mtn. they begin their descent, see a forest. that provides cover for the hot-tub attack, ladies start to strip, but forget to detach from ski equipment, they detach, and begin to climb the fence only to realize a family was inhabiting the pool. damn them they yell, “todlers, and renters,” and run for the pool. security for the pool confronts the rebellious trio of snow nymphs, l-farn implores and lies, but snow bouncer intervenes. However they evade the yeti and jump and skip away before they are apprehended

GRACE: her and car-dog found a sign, it says ‘trail.’ this is relevant because of the outing club’s broader mission

other news learned since the meeting

-Colin M is replaced by Bryan L as secretary*

*my bad

-Jameson Jones had the missing 4 season tent for 6 months plus. A moment of silence will be held next meeting to condemn him and his utter lack of respect for E-room property.

Good luck to all the BOC homies venturing abroad . Welcome back to those returned. I assume you were dearly missed.

Farewell,

Brian