*Ahem*

Soundtrack here (fast forward a teensy bit)

Howdy folks,

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Dana Cohen-Kaplan, and I’ll be assuming the mantle of the voice of the outing club aka Secretary aka source of almost-productive procrastination. I’ll be secreting for the remainder of the semester, or until the powers that be decide they have had enough. I’ll probably lie sometimes, but when I do, you will probably be able to recognize and disregard it because it will sound ridiculous or very incorrect.

Also I’ll be employing the Brian “comical middle name assignment” Kennedy maneuver because it’s funny and I’m tryna to make you read this shit

Also I’m not fuxing with creative fonts, colors, or sizes. I’m waaaaay too jaded for that. Probs caps though for important stuff (like I’m yelling).

Here’s what you missed or didn’t miss.

First Meeting

Squasha “el jefe” “the big cheese” Lemons stands and speaks.

She welcomes you and stuff.

Quick rundown on how gear rentals (the most useful thing the outing club does) work:

-Eroom has tons of awesome shit for all your outside needs. go use it

-All gear lives in the eroom

-Sometimes it goes on adventures

-It comes back

-Eroom has specific hours, 4ish-5ish MWF. don’t try to get stuff otherwise –> you will be a burden

-A 112460.64 dong ($5) deposit is required for every piece of gear

-Bring it back in on time and you get all your dongs back

-Don’t and we keep your dongs

-Some equipment can kill you if you’re stupid, so the eroom tolls do stupid check for things like climbing equipment and chainsaws. use your head

-No shirt, no shoes

-The eroom trolls can answer your eroom questions. Maybe me too because I trolled in younger years. But probs ask current trolls.

To become a council member

-Three meetings

– Work Trip

– Tell A Story

Directorship comes with enfranchisement (i.e. voting rights, trip leadership, and free booze (this is one of the times I lie))

People you should know when it comes to doing the thing before their name:

Prez – Sasha Lennon

VP – George Merrill

Secretary – Dana Cohen-Kaplan

Eroom directors – Paul Phillips and Thorn Merrill

Publicity – Audrey Puleio and Beanie O’Shea

Webmaster – Hannah Tolan

Parliamentarian – Hazel Cashman

Safety – Will Bryer

Hikes and Trips – Emmett Peterson, Audrey Wheatcroft and Ian Hillenbrand (there was a tie)

Cabins and Trails – Adam Auerbach and Noel Potter

Climbing – Callum Douglas and Koby Yudkin

Biking – Emma Marchetti and Alex Moskovitz

Hickory – Emmett Peterson and Jane Mclarney

Watersports – Julia Savage and Thorn Merrill

Surfing – Bruno Zicarelli and Sam Rickerich

Environment – Adair “directs the environment” Andre

Eroom workers – Beanie O’Shea, Abby Horrisberger, Becca Ferguson, Noel Potter, and Emma Russel

Some dude with a topknot and a hell of a stare might give you outside stuff, eyes out for email (it was already sent out).

Adam is doing a park service thing with a group, watch out for an email.

Both have the potential for material gain (a good thing, in case you were socialized abnormally). Actually sound pretty cool tho

Trips are announced via email and meetings, trips to be signed up for via email. Eyes out. This is important because trips are the best part of the BOC and why it exists.

CLAMBAKE WOOOO poop ham beach eat lobsters and clams, L.L. Bean will be there hanging out, and he is crazy double-jointed in his elbow, so go meet him and ask him about it. There’s a bus (leaving at 10am from Chase (get there early, spots go quick, probs getting back at 5, (goodwill is open til 8, dunno bout salvo)) but also personal cars (bring cash for parking because it’s a state park, bring a maine resident with you for a discount. Eyes out for tickets, lobsters n shit cost money but less for freshkinz.

Open house…happened in the eroom

Date for work trip is wrong on sheet, 27^th NOT 20^{th. No worries, there will be an email…don’t know how to get down from here.} 

No sightings of the Bates Undressed Travel Team. Partially relieved, partially disappointed.

As promised, I will deliver on my campaign promise, unlike some people

cool idea. haha, cool. get it? k after this, you’re finishing you reading, you swear

Also, someone left a water bottle at the meeting. It’s pretty dope, and it has stickers that say I’ve done cooler things than I’ve done. So Imma take it if you don’t. It has a “Giddy”, a “Where There Be Dragons”, a “baxter State Park”, a colorful knot, and a nice biner on it. Contact me if it’s yours. Don’t contact me and it’s mine. Also, owner of said waterbottle, go talk to Sasha about Where There Be Dragons. She’s excited.

Hasta pronto homies,

Daña