Minutes 9/13

The Young Eyes gaze upon the Dear Leader. Their hearts tremble at the thought of his divine fingers stroking their mortal cheeks. His passing gaze causes the most devout members and the most starstruck new faces to lose consciousness instantly. They are fanned back to life by those less faint of heart. A rumble from below. The Dear Leader inhales. Silence but for the trembling earth. Rickerich sweats through his shirt. Sarge’s eyes roll to the back of his head, and he begins to mumble the words of the constitution at a great pace. The earth cracks. Ten first years fall into the molten depths. He begins to speak.

Dear Leader Philips : Explains the proceedings of each and every sacred meeting

of the club.

1. Announcements: Announce shit
2. Gear: Propose shit to buy
3. Trips: People going places and doing things
4. Stories: People talk about shit

Gear Proposals: Email me ( jpardo@bates.edu )

• –  Price, description, all that jazz.
• –  Vote at next meeting

  Council Members: Can vote on shit

– Attend 3 meetings and do a work trip

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

CLAMBAKE: Dear Leader
Saturday! This Saturday! So cool. Bus leaves Bates at 10AM and leaves Popham at 2PM. Go eat good lobster so fun!

MEDIA PRESENCE: Dear Leader
DM our Dear Leader Philips. Also DM him photos for the Insta.

KATIE’s BIKE: Katie
The brake is rubbing. Help her out!!

GEAR CLOSET: Dan-not-related-to-Mitch Willsey
You can buy stuff for cheap so talk to Dan about this awesome and fun pro deal!

MEAT(STICK) PICS: Signe

Take pics with your meatstick and send them to Signe. She really wants them.

TRIP CALENDAR: Dear Leader
There will be a trip calendar for every month. Sign up to lead or sign up for trips! It’s so easy to lead trips. Here’s how to lead a sanctioned, gas paid trip:

• –  Send an email out about your trip in advance. 2 Days notice pls!
• –  3/5ths of your car must be open to others!
• –  Bring receipt to Will to get gas reimbursed

  TRIPS

  SUNRISE PADDLE: Kurt
  “Wee Wee le sunrise paddle avec Kurt et Rickeeeee. Come alons y with your vehicle si voo play”

  TRAIL MAINTENANCE: Sarge
  Sat 23 and Sat 30!! Come chop shit up and blaze some trees with Sarge.

  SURFING: Eli and Andrew
  Guys this is not announcement time

– Don’t break into the boat barn there’s nice stuff in there BIKING TO C BAKE: Tallz

Who wants to bike? Slide into A Fran’s DMs MOUNTAIN BIKING: Kilometers

Tomorrow at 4 and in the coming weeks. Mountain Biking! CLIMBING: Mitch

Shag tomorrow 12-5? Go Shag with Mitch STORIES

Sarge: 150 mile boat race from Newport. 5 minutes of practice are you kiddin me? Psh we fucked it up anyway. The rain was biblical, God smote Sarge. But god doesn’t exist only Dear Leader Philips. Sarge got pounded by god for three hours and was very wet. He was soaking wet on the rail all day. His arm was very cold. ‘Shit was Fucked.’ The

sails were so upset that they all killed themselves. The engine stopped working. Then the boat caught fire. Did the navigator die? No he didn’t. Hat received.

Kilometers: Tells the goat fucking porn story. again. Goddammit Kilometers.

• –  Bridget pimps out Damon for an hour
• –  Calla is feelin some way
• –  Damons love is short but oh so sweet
• –  Kilometers films for his private collection
• –  Exposes his fetish to an 8th grade class

  Dear Leader
  All are welcome any time please come even if you have never come or have missed

  any amount of meetings!

  His speech ends. The aftermath is evident throughout campus. First years and seniors alike lie in pools of their own ecstasy. He once again returns to his secret lair. The witnesses return to consciousness one by one. Their lives will never be the same.